Compatible Behavior and Good Listening

Special points of interest:

> People who work together can share information about themselves to help surface some issues.

> Some behavior can cause undue conflict, pressure, and frustration.

> Gaining insights into our own and others' behavior allows people to work out effective strategies for working together.

> Using the right listening approach can lead to improved communication.

Volume 3, Issue 3

August 17, 2003

Beyond Success Newsletter

Compatible Behavior and Good Listening

by Trish Pratt

It's useful for people who work together to voluntarily share information about themselves to better understand each other's working styles and optimize their communication and productivity. This information can also help surface issues. The following is a true story of how sharing DiSC® profiles helped Jack and Marsha in a work situation.

In this case, Jack assisted Marsha on a series of projects for which she was responsible. Jack has boundless energy, enjoys taking action and getting things done. Marsha is easygoing, enjoys working steadily, and doesn't like sudden change. Whenever Jack had an idea, he'd thrust the idea on Marsha, try to get immediate feedback, and if it were approved Jack would launch right into it. This approach drove Marsha nuts. She felt that Jack would sacrifice quality to simply get something done. Marsha would sometimes give in to pressure from Jack and would say yes, often regretting it later. Sometimes Marsha would avoid Jack simply because she was uncomfortable with his working style and the pressure she felt from him.

Jack and Marsha each took the DiSC® Classic and compared their results (see graph below). The graph shows both Jack and Marsha have high standards (high Conscientiousness), but the other three dimensions are opposites and the Dominance dimensions are polar opposites.

DiSC® Dimensions of Behavior provide a nonjudgmental language for exploring behavioral issues across four primary dimensions.

Dominance: Direct and Decisive
D's are strong-willed, strong-minded people who like accepting challenges, taking action, and getting immediate results.
Influence: Optimistic and Outgoing
I's are "people people" who like participating on teams, sharing ideas, energizing and entertaining others.
Steadiness: Sympathetic and Cooperative
S's are helpful people who like working behind the scenes, performing in consistent and predictable ways, and being good listeners.
Conscientiourness: Concerned and Correct
C's are sticklers for quality who like planning ahead, employing systematic approaches, and checking and re-checking for accuracy.

Jack and Marsha's DiSC® Classic profiles Marsha realized that Jack's high D, her low D, and her indirect way of handling a high D was causing a problem. After they talked about it, Jack was able to redirect much of his high Dominance behavior and stretch his Steadiness behavior. He struggled to stretch his Influence behavior, but that gap didn't seem to bother Marsha as much.

Marsha learned that she needed to communicate more clearly and assertively with Jack. She also saw the value of having him on her team as he contributed greatly to getting things done. Understanding the differences in their behavioral styles helped Marsha to take things less personally. Personal Listening Profile®

Because Jack and Marsha gained insights into their own and each other's behavior they were able to work out effective strategies for working together. Additionally, Jack took the Personal Listening Profile® and learned that his least used listening approach was the one that Marsha needed Jack to apply. Jack continues to redirect his D, stretch his S and stretch his listening style to accommodate Marsha which has lead to improved communication, less frustration and conflict, and a performance improvement from their team work.

Wishing you success and fulfillment,
- Trish

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About Trish

Trish Pratt is a professional certified coach and consultant. She is also a certified PaperRoom coach trained in pattern recognition (see www.momentumcoaching.com/paperroom.html for more details). Trish helps managers and other professionals bring their best clarity, communication and leadership to their work. She does this with one-on-one coaching, training/workshops, and through articles she writes. Contact Trish today for a complimentary consultation at: 978-635-0603 or via email at: trish@momentumcoaching.com.

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Legal Notice

"The PaperRoom" is a trademark of Boston Coaching Company. Trish is a certified, licensed PaperRoom coach. "DiSC" and "Personal Listening Profile" are registered trademarks of Inscape Publishing, Inc. The Jack and Marsha case study is © 2003 Russ Pratt Associates LLC. Edited and reprinted with permission. Permission is granted to reproduce, copy or distribute this newsletter as long as this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author is attached.