A Nation in Mourning

Special points of interest:

> The first step to feeling grounded is to acknowledge what you are feeling.

> Be mindful of your needs and take care of yourself.

> A personal vision will help you to be grounded in what you want for your life.

> Take time to reflect, connect with yourself, connect with gratitude, and reassess your values.

Volume 1, Issue 3

September, 2001

Beyond Success Newsletter

A Nation in Mourning

by Trish Pratt

We are a nation in mourning. The September 11th attack on New York City and Washington has left each of us to find our way through the grieving process so that we may come to a place of calm and healing. The stages of grieving, as outlined by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross are: 1) denial & isolation, 2) anger, 3) bargaining, 4) depression and 5) acceptance. Many of us find ourselves entrenched in the "anger" stage, wondering how and/or when we will get to the other side of this anger that we feel. Many in the "bargaining" stage, praying that our changing for the better in some way will offer us some protection from the evil that, if we didn't know before, we now know exists. And many speak of the fear they feel, wondering what will happen next and finding that "fear" has moved into their lives like a new housemate that's unclear about it's length of stay.

But this painful time also calls us to our strengths. It calls us to look inside ourselves to where we are strong and good so that we are able to bring our best to our families and friends, country and world. It calls us to a place in our hearts where we can offer each other, and especially those who have suffered a greater loss, some understanding, some kindness, some comfort.

So then the question we might ask ourselves is how do we move on in our lives? How do we move on to a stage in the grieving process that will allow us to feel whole? How do we shift into a place where we are our strongest and most grounded? If this is a time to give, then let's give our best. So the question seems to be: Where is our "best" at a time like this?

Steps To Bringing Your Best - To Feeling Calm, Strong and Grounded

- First, sense your feelings. The first step to feeling grounded is to acknowledge what you are feeling. Feelings that sometimes come with such a tragedy are: confusion, sadness, shock, isolation, anger, fear, worry, depression, denial, terror, and many others.
- Take care of yourself. Be mindful of your needs. What do we have to offer to anyone if each of us hasn't taken care of ourselves? Know your "needs", both physical needs, as well as spiritual and emotional needs. For some these needs may be: minding our health - eating well, getting exercise, maintaining a routine, creating the time and space for our interests and hobbies, seeking the support of a therapist, connecting with friends and family, keeping traditions, etc.
- Hold a personal vision for yourself. A vision will help you to be grounded in what you want for your life. Include in your vision your needs, your values, your dreams of what you want for your life and for your loved ones. Having a personal vision helps you to focus on what brings your life meaning rather than on fear and ego. (See July '01 newsletter for vision ideas.)
- Hold a vision for the world. Rather than allowing fear to ground you in the mindset of anger and hate, hold a world vision of love and peace. Create a vision where your life and your response to the world is anchored in what you would have for the world - the dream that you hold for peace. Creating this vision may feel difficult, but encourage yourself to connect to the love in your heart and to the best possible outcome from this tragedy.
- Take time to reflect - to connect with yourself. Some find prayer or meditation to provide this connection. Some find it in walking, spending time with loved ones, gardening, etc.
- Connect to love and peace. Through prayer, positive thoughts, kind deeds -- hold on to what is good.
- And lastly... Connect with gratitude. It may feel difficult to be in touch with what you are grateful for when we have been so rocked with grief. But know that being in touch with these more positive feelings doesn't discount the horror or loss that we have experienced. If life provides us with what we need to learn and grow then consider what opportunity for growth lies in having experienced this tragedy. In this learning we can reassess our values and affirm life and the meaning it holds for us.

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About Trish

Trish Pratt is a professional certified coach and consultant. She is also a certified PaperRoom coach trained in pattern recognition (see www.momentumcoaching.com/paperroom.html for more details). Trish helps managers and other professionals bring their best clarity, communication and leadership to their work. She does this with one-on-one coaching, training/workshops, and through articles she writes. Contact Trish today for a complimentary consultation at: 978-635-0603 or via email at: trish@momentumcoaching.com.

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